Wednesday, November 29, 2017

Priestesses of Britomartis, Part I

Neutral Goddess of Nets, Mountains, and Womanly Love

Tenets of Britomartis
* Remain a sweet maiden, loved by Artemis
* Assist fishers and sailors, encouraging commerce
* Nourish one’s nets and mountains
* Avoid the love of men

Priestesses of Britomartis
Special: Britomartis is served exclusively by women (for obvious reasons), most of whom are priestesses. In Minoan areas, she is known as Diktynna.
Allowed Weapons: Net, sword, bow, dagger
Allowed Armor: Leather or lighter
Holy Symbol: Net, Butterfly, Coin, Mountain
Can Turn: Men who would harm women
Mysteries of Britomartis: Up to once per day per level, a priestess of Britomartis can gain a +2 to one of her casting rolls when located near a net or mountain, as well as anything resembling them.

Next week: Priestesses of Britomartis, Part II!

Wednesday, November 22, 2017

Commissars of Uncle Steel Dwarf, Part IV

Propaganda (Uncle Steel Dwarf Spells)
Though his commissars would never admit it, Propaganda can be quite magical indeed.

1st Level: Command (+3 vs. Proletarians), Cure Light Wounds, Detect Capitalism (as Detect Evil but senses free market forces instead), Purify Food and Drink (reverse), Remove Fear (reverse), Resist Cold, Equalitarian Missile (as Magic Missile*, but only does damage to Capitalists), Message* (requires speaking into a device)

2nd Level: Bless (reverse), Delay Poison, Find Traps, Know Alignment (requires at least 1 turn of interrogation first), Hold Person, Resist Fire, Reveal Charm, Spiritual Weapon, Fire TrapD, Heat MetalD, Produce FlameD, Amnesia* (requires 1d6 turns of Reprograming first), Phantasmal Force* (for Indoctrination)

3rd Level: Cure Blindness (reverse), Dispel Magic, Glyph of Warding, Locate Object (in order to seize it), Remove Curse (reverse), Striking, Explosive Runes*, Stinking Cloud*

4th Level: Create Food and water (reverse), Cure Serious Wounds, Detect Lie, Arcane Eye* (usable only against those suspected of Counter-Revolutionary Behavior), Wall of Fire*

5th Level: Commune (requires 1d6 turns of grain, livestock, land, and/or general confiscation of others’ livelihood first), Cure Critical Wounds, Dispel Capitalism (as Dispel Evil, but affects business folk instead), Flame Strike, Faithful Hound* (to guard against Dissidents)

6th Level: Animate Objects (if made of metal), Blade Barrier (appears as Equalitarian Firearms)

7th Level: Holy Word (reverse- works on Capitalists), Degenerate (reverse of Regenerate), Summon Devil*

Avatar of Uncle Steel Dwarf

Align: C
MV 20
 AC -10
HD 15
Atk: 1 slam or crush
Dmg: 3d8
SP: commissar propaganda/abilities (caster level 15), immune to any harm from metal, fire, or charm effects,  -4 when surrounded by Capitalists 
Magic resistance: 20%
SV: C15
Mor: 8

Hulking but squat, these embodiments of the Equalitarian Tyrant himself are red in color and made of hell-forged steel. Unless keeping an individual alive would serve his greater interests, the avatar will quickly redistribute his victim’s blood and bones all over the area via mighty slams and crushes.

The Amaranthine Wizard

Archenemy of Uncle Steel Dwarf, the Amaranthine Wizard stands in diametric opposition to him and Equalitarianism. Rather than espousing equality, he espouses hierarchy. Rather than attacking capitalists and eliminating private property, he attacks inhumans and seeks to forge pure human nation-empires.  Still, his clergy, the Amaranthineschaft, can be as ruthless as Uncle Steel Dwarf’s commissars. As a result, one can use their rules in a modified way until he can be dealt with in a separate article.

Next week: Priestesses of Diktynna / Britomartis!

Wednesday, November 15, 2017

Commissars of Uncle Steel Dwarf, Part III

Counter-Revolutionary Behavior (Uncle Steel Dwarf Divine Tests)
1-4. Investigate. Who is Collaborating with Capitalists and Imperialists? The commissar better hope it’s not him! To make sure, he will look into others’ behavior, taking a -1 penalty per Counter-Revolutionary Behavior result (-1 to -4), double if he actually sympathizes (-2 to -8) for the next 1d6 hours.

5-9. Indoctrinate. Propaganda is the sharpest and strongest weapon of Equalitarianism and must be put to best use! The commissar loses access to some of his propaganda (50% chance for each one) possibly including his turn ability until he demonstrates his Correct Dedication to Equalitarian Ideals. Roll 1d6 for each to determine what he must do in order to get it back:
[1] Get at least 2d4 HD of Proletarians (laborers or peasants) to rise up against their masters, unless of course if those masters are Equalitarian. In this latter case, they have a 66% chance of actually needing to be imprisoned instead or even shot if they are deemed Kulaks- ‘affluent’ laborers or peasants.
[2] Compel two individuals of different races or even species to interbreed. Willingness of the participants and success of the coupling are Irrelevant- that they are working to make everyone Equal is all that matters! In any case, resulting offspring will be given to serve the State.
[3] Confiscate all the possessions from the next person you see in the Name of Uncle Steel Dwarf! If the person is Equalitarian, then he or she is of course given a pass; just confiscate all possessions from the next person you see. 
[4] Insult an Opiate of the Masses (a cleric) or violate a temple of another divinity. Fear not any reprisals: how many armies do they have?
[5] Disrupt a Capitalist Enclave (place of business). Feel free to beat them with anything that they would sell you.
[6] ‘Correctly’ count the votes of an election, secretly monitor a conversation, or disrupt a demonstration. Undermine some democratic custom or movement in order to force the people to have what’s best for them, whether they want it or not! (see Wyrd Ways of Walstock for details on how schemes of another cult might unfold.)

10-14. Liquidate. Death solves all Problems and the commissar has a new Problem to solve. With the power of his Equalitarian Firearm he must execute one individual and cannot use his propaganda for any other task until it is done. Who that should be officially depends on their type of Counter-Revolutionary Behavior, but commissars are good at finding fault with nearly anyone. Roll 1d6.
[1] a Capitalist (merchant, etc.)
[2] an Opiate of the Masses (cleric. etc.)
[3] an Imperialist (lawful, non-Equalitarian person)
[4] a Dissident (anyone currently not in the good graces of Uncle Steel Dwarf, a base 75% chance)
[5] Purge the entire family of one of the above. Reroll 1d5: in the case of another result of 5, expand to include the individual’s local community, then region, country, etc.
[6] Books, scrolls, or an object that is deemed Counter-Revolutionary.

15-16. Order 227. Trust no one, not even yourself, Comrade! Now it is an Equalitarian or servant of one who has been found Guilty of Counter-Revolutionary Behavior. Any the commissar knows (or very much suspects!) who has ever surrendered, fled, or even fell back in battle from non-Equalitarians must be shot, including himself. This is why, when it comes to the servants of Uncle Steel Dwarf, it takes more courage to retreat than to advance.

17+ Non-person. Unless he can find another to Officially Condemn and take his place within the next 1d6 rounds (requiring someone else present, a compelling argument, and a Charisma check that is increased by 3 for every Counter-Revolutionary Behavior Result over 17), the commissar is himself shot, becoming just another statistic. What is more, his entire existence is also erased, all record and memory. It would appear that the commissar’s evil has caught up with him, though the many that he had harmed and slain unfortunately continue to remain so.

Next week: Commissars of Uncle Steel Dwarf, Part IV!


Wednesday, November 8, 2017

Commissars of Uncle Steel Dwarf, Part II

Propaganda (Uncle Steel Dwarf Magical Side-Effects)
The magic of Uncle Steel Dwarf, known as Propaganda, is ruthless and harsh- what better way to force everyone to become Equal, comrade? Roll 1d12 every time a commissar does so.  But remember: failure to follow the orders of any resulting side-effects will make the commissar suspect of Counter-Revolutionary Behavior (see Part III)!

1. Liquidation: Someone has obviously been Counter-Revolutionary and must be shot for the propaganda to work. An intelligent being must be executed, carried out by the commissar with his Equalitarian  Firearm, either at the time of casting or by the next sunset... or else.

2. Redistribution: Uncle Steel Dwarf sees fit to Reallocate the funds of the wealthiest person within 60’ of the commissar at the time of the propaganda’s casting.  Since this means that all of their wealth is then given to the State (effectively gone- save vs. death negates), most commissars generally make sure that they have at least slightly less wealth than any of those around them.

3. Reeducation: Some don’t appear to be as devoted to Equalitarianism as they should be! If the propaganda is helpful, then the recipient must receive (re-)indoctrination into the Correct Way of Thinking, requiring 2d6 turns of listening to speeches and forced applauding, completed before the next sunset. If the propaganda is harmful, then the target is considered Sufficiently Reeducated for now.

4. Proletarian Glory: A hammer, sickle, and/or inverted star symbol must be present for the propaganda to work, and there must be at least some red in it! If a portrait or statue of Uncle Steel Dwarf is also available (the only dwarf permitted to have a mustache), then the propaganda has +50% effect.
5-9. Standard Casting: The propaganda works without side-effect this time, comrade, though remember: Uncle Steel Dwarf is always watching you!

10. Workers’ Paradise: Proletarian hands forge the best! The propaganda works normally. In addition, if the commissar would also like it to have a 50% bonus, then he can have at least 1d3 workers, peasants, or similar types do work nearby to expedite it for 2d3 rounds. Still, they will likely end up also performing slave labor afterwards for the next 2d30 years (a base 66% chance), but such is the price of Equalitarianism.

11-12. Red Terror: The sounds of patriotic, left-wing music rise and the propaganda works automatically for the full effect (though a save still applies, if applicable).  In addition, if the propaganda would harm any Bourgeoisie or other Enemy of the People (property owners, business folk, free-thinkers.- if not known, then there is a base 50% chance) then the propaganda also has a 50% bonus!

Next week: Commissars of Uncle Steel Dwarf, Part III!

Wednesday, November 1, 2017

Commissars of Uncle Steel Dwarf, Part I

Uncle Steel Dwarf

Chaotic Demon Lord of Equalitarianism
Tenets of Uncle Steel Dwarf
* Everyone must become Equal, or else!
* All possession and distinction must become Merged!
* All who are Counter-Revolutionary must be Purged!
* Liquidate others as needed, as well

Commissars of Uncle Steel Dwarf
Special: Uncle Steel Dwarf is not served by clerics (since they espouse ‘Opiates of the Masses’), but rather by commissars. Most are red dwarves (see Part IV), but there are also a fair number of humans and members of other races in their ranks.
Allowed Weapons: Hammer, sickle, firearm (see below)
Allowed Armor: Leather or lighter
Holy Symbol: Hammer and sickle within an inverted star
Can Turn: Those who believe in freedom
Equalitarian Firearm: Up to thrice per day per level, a commissar of Uncle Steel Dwarf can emit a blast of fire and steel from his firearm at a target up to 60’ away, causing 2d6 damage if it hits. In addition, it does double damage to any allies that are retreating or trying to surrender.

Next week: Commissars of Uncle Steel Dwarf, Part II!